【英語宅急便】HELP! HELP! I don't want my legs to be the drumsticks for sharks!

from:台大視聽教育館英語學習報第029期

Rachell: Hey, how're you doing? It's good to see you coming home safe and sound.

Rachell: 嗨，你好嗎？看到你平安的回家我真開心。

Irwin: Hi, Rachell. Yeah,it was really close.

Irwin: 嗨，Rachel。是阿，剛才當時真是驚險。

Rachell: I believe so. But such an encounter of being saved by dophins from sharks' bites is a million dollar chance of a lifetime! Come on, tell me the story again, I wanna hear it with my own ears.

Rachell: 我想也是，不過被海豚救出鯊魚的血盆大口，這可是一生中千載難逢的奇蹟啊，欸，再跟我說一次那個故事，我要親耳再聽一次啦！

Irwin: I thought you've heard it on TV news for heaps of times. Give me a break, please.

Irwin: 我想你應該在電視新聞聽過很多次了吧，拜託，饒了我吧。

Rachell: Pleeeeeeeeease.......tell me the story.....pleeeeeeese.

Rachell: 拜託！告訴我啦！求求尼！

Irwin: Ok,ok. Don't be such a drama queen. I'll tell the story. Well, that day, Percy and I and other 3 mates from the diving club. We went to Port Lincoln for scuba diving, as you may have heard from the news. We'd been there a couple of times before. So, we did everything as usual, and we knew what we were doing.

Irwin: 好，好啦，別這麼噁心，我會跟你講啦。就是那天，我跟Percy還有其他三個游泳俱樂部的夥伴去Port Lincoln浮潛，就像你從新聞聽到的那樣。我們之前已經去過那邊好幾次了，所以我們一如往常的浮潛，我們很清楚我們在幹麻。

Rachell: Then what happend?!!!

Rachell: 然後呢！？發生什麼事了！？

Irwin: Why are you so excited, my "queen"? You know what happened.

Irwin: 你幹麻這麼興奮？我的皇后，你明明就知道發生什麼事了。

Rachell:Ok, I'm cool. Keep going! Keep going!

Rachell: 好好好，我很冷靜，繼續講阿，繼續講！

Irwin: Then, after we dived into the water, only about half an hour later, we saw a pod of bottlenose dolphins. I can't recall how many of them came steaming at us.

Irwin: 然後，我們潛進水裡之後，過了差不多半小時左右，我們看到一群寬吻海豚，我記不得有多少隻海豚衝著我們來。

Rachell: Why didn't you just try to give way to them?

Rachell: 你們為什麼不讓條路給他們過啊？

Irwin: Do I look like a dophin or any other marine creatures? Or do you see any webs growing between my fingers and toes?

Irwin: 我看起來像是海豚或是什麼海中生物嘛？還是你看到我的手指和腳趾之間長出蹼嗎？

Rachell: No? Though your hair sometimes does look a lionfish.

Rachell: 不...雖然你的頭髮有時像是隻獅子魚。

Irwin: Yeah, thanks for the praise. But it still didn't make me swim faster than they did under the water.

Irwin: 是啊，謝謝你們的讚美，但這樣還是無法讓我遊得跟那些海豚獅子魚一樣快。

Rachell: Yeah, that's fair enough. Then, did you get hit by them? Or did you try to catch one of them?

Rachell: 噢，那真是公平（？），然後呢？你們有被他們攻擊嗎？還是你們有試著去抓一隻來？

Irwin: Yeah, I tried to catch one and ride on it's back. Like the movie, "Whale Rider", I wanted to be the first wild dolphin rider on the south hemisphere.

Irwin: 是啊，我試著去抓一隻來，然後騎到他的背上，就像是電影“鯨騎士”那樣，我想當南半球第一個野生海豚騎士。

Rachell: Haha, that'll be ludicrous though, you'll definitely hit the headlines on newspapers, and the title could be "Maniac Young Lad on Misfortunate Dolphin"

Rachell: 哈哈，那真是太扯了，你一定會上報紙頭條，標題鐵定會是“誇張！衰海豚遇上瘋狂青年”。

Irwin: And the title can be attached with a comic picture of me lunatically riding on a dolphin with a miserable look.

Irwin: 然後標題旁邊一定會有插畫：我面帶痛苦的表情，白爛的騎在海豚上。

Rachell: What a selling point, isn't it.

Rachell: 這真是個賣點，不是嗎？

Irwin: Yeah, absolutely it is. Can we be serious now, back onto the track?

Irwin: 當然是，別鬧了，我們可以重回正題嗎？

Rachell: Hey, you started it by telling me riding on a dolphin. Anyway, I'll read the news myself if I wanna know more details. HAHA!

Rachell: 喂，這是你說我騎在海豚上才開始的耶，無論如何，我想知道細節的話我會去看新聞，哈哈。

Irwin: Good on ya. Just want to make fun of me.

Irwin: 好樣的，你在耍我嘛。

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drumstick	雞腿	lose	驚險的
cool	冷靜的	recall	記得
pod	一群	marine	海洋的
web	蹼	lionfish	獅子魚
hemisphere	半球	ludicrous	可笑的；荒唐的
maniac	發狂的	lad	年輕男子 （英）
misfortunate	不幸的	lunatically	瘋癲的；精神錯亂的
miserable	痛苦的

safe and sound	安然無恙
a million dollar chance	千載難逢的機會
give me a break	饒了我吧
a drama queen	愛演戲、無理取鬧的人；愛假仙的人
come steaming at	對著...直直衝來
give way to	讓路給...
back onto the track	回到正題
good on ya = good on you	好樣的；幹得好`(英）

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延伸閱讀：

• (BBC) Dolphins protect swimmers from shark
• (Guardian) Dolphins save swimmers from shark
• Dolphin
• Dolphins and Man.....Equals?

...我個人覺得這篇寫的很爛