【英語宅急便】Are you young enough to be annoyed?

From: 臺大視聽教育館教育館英語學習報第032期

Siren: Ahhh!

Siren: 呃啊啊啊啊！

Ulysses: Hey, Siren. What’s with that squeaky scream?

Ulysses: 喂，Siren，你幹麻發出那個鬼尖叫聲！？

Siren: There are three mosquitoes flying towards me. They are terrifying.

Siren: 這裡有三隻蚊子在我旁邊飛來飛去，他們很可怕啊！

Ulysses: I see. Hey, speaking of the mosquitoes, have you heard of this ultrasonic pest repelling devices that you can get from some retailers? Allegedly, the electronic device emits high frequency sound that is only heard by mosquitoes, but not human beings. The manufacturers say that you can carry them around and the mosquitoes will not come near you because they hate the sound…

Ulysses: 噢，我知道了，嘿，說到蚊子，你有聽過一種能從商店買到的超音波害蟲驅逐器嗎？他說這個機器可以發出只有蚊子能聽到的高頻率聲音，人是聽不到的，製造商聲稱只要你帶著它，蚊子就不會接近你，因為它們討厭那個聲音。

Siren: Good idea. Maybe I can reproduce that with my ultrasonic shriek. AH-AHHH…!

Siren: 好主意！也許我可以再製造一個那種機器，但發出的是我的超音波尖叫，呃啊啊喔喔喔喔呃啊啊...！

Ulysses: (Shouting) Can you stop that?!! (Siren becomes quiet.) Much better now. The scientists have proven that it has no effect whatsoever on any insects. So you might as well save the trouble.

Ulysses: （大叫）你可以閉嘴嘛？！！（Siren 安靜了）好多了， 科學家已經證實那對任何昆蟲都沒效，你省省吧。

Siren: So why do you bring it up?

Siren: 那你幹麻還提它？

Ulysses: Well, some scientist seemed to be inspired by that and invented a “teenager repellent” with the same concept.

Ulysses: 有些科學家好像被他激發出靈感，並利用相同的概念發明了一種“青少年驅逐器”。

Siren: You mean teenagers that bite like mosquitoes? Wow, that makes them vampires - if they suck blood like mosquitoes do. So the repellent you are talking about must be Van Helsing, or Buffy the Vampire Slayer, or…

Siren: 你意思是說青少年會向蚊子一樣咬人嗎？窩噢，他們如果真的跟蚊子一下吸血，那不就變成吸血鬼了？你說的驅逐器一定是有關於凡赫星或是魔法奇兵或是...

Ulysses: Well, I am not talking about vampires, and certainly have no idea why Van Helsing and that Buffy girl are doing in our conversation. I mean that scientists locate a specific frequency which most young people under 25 can hear while most people over 25 cannot.

Ulysses: 呃，我不是在說吸血鬼，我也不知道為啥凡赫星還有那個Buffy girl會出現在我們的對話哩，我意思是說，科學家發現了一種特殊的頻率，只有25歲以下的年輕人才聽的到，但大部分25歲以上的人卻聽不到。

Siren: Like imaginary friends?

Siren: 就像假想的朋友那樣？

Ulysses: Er. Not exactly. It’s more scientific than childhood fantasy. Anyways, they devise a transmitter that releases unpleasant high-pitched noise that only annoys teenagers, so that they will clear out of the vicinity where the device is set up.

Ulysses: 呃，不完全是，我說的那個比兒時幻想還要科學多了，無論如何，科學家發明一種會發出高聲調噪音的發送器，它只會吵到那些青少年，所以機器在哪哩，J附近就沒有青少年。

Siren: But why can’t adults hear the sound?

Siren: 但是為什麼大人聽不到那個聲音？

Ulysses: You know people say that your life starts downhill once you pass 25. One’s hearing ability deteriorates in his or her early twenties as well. In a word, old people are not as sensitive to sound as young people are.

Ulysses: 你知道人們都說只要過了25歲人生就開始走下坡，一個人的聽力也是從20幾歲開始惡化，簡單來說，老年人相較於年輕人，會對聲音比較不敏感。

Siren: I think that device is a form of discrimination.

Siren: 這種機器分明是某種形式的歧視！

Ulysses: Yeah. Many people have been arguing against treating our teens as pest infestations, thinking it a violation of their human rights. However, some surly young people are prone to vandalize public property when they congregate together. The people using this device only turn it on when there are boisterous groups of young……

Ulysses: 是阿，許多人開始議論不應該像對害蟲那樣對我們的青少年，他們覺得這侵犯了他們的基本人權，但是無論如何，一些年輕人在聚眾時會有摧殘公共建設的傾向，只有在一群混蛋死台克在的時候才會使用這個機器...

Siren: No. I mean it is discrimination against the old! It is even an invasion of privacy! You see, judging from my reaction, they can know whether I am older than 25 when they turn on the device.

Siren: 不，我意思是這在歧視老人！而且這是對隱私權的侵害！你看，只要一打開那機器，根據我的反應，就可以知道我到底是不是25歲以上的老人！

Ulysses: It should not bother you anyways. You told me that you stay eighteen forever, right? I assume you don’t age like us mortals?

Ulysses: 不管怎樣它應該都不會打擾到你才對，你不是告訴我你永遠十八歲嘛？你應該不會跟我們這些凡人一樣老化吧？

Siren: Of course not, I am a siren, the enchanting sea goddess. I stay young.

Siren: 當然不會！我可是塞任，妖媚的海神，我不會變老。

Ulysses: Ha. Liar. You must be much older than 25.

Ulysses: 哈，騙子，你一定超過25歲了。

Siren: . . . Why do you say that . . .?

Siren: ...你怎麼這麼說...?

Ulysses: Well, I have the device on the whole time we are having this conversation, and you seem pretty unperturbed to me. The noise is even somewhat tingly for me, and I am in my mid-forties. Judging from your composure, I would say you are at least 150 years old…

Ulysses: 嘿嘿，我们在講話的同時我一直都開著那機器，但你似乎很平靜。這個噪音甚至有點吵到我，我才20幾歲，看你這麼冷靜，我看你至少150歲了...

Siren: Ah!!!! Please someone bring me a Ulysses repellent!!! (And a mosquito repellent, if you may!)

Siren: 呃啊啊啊！快給我一個Ulysses驅趕器！

---

squeaky	短促尖聲的	deteriorate	惡化
ultrasonic	超音波	discrimination	歧視
pest	害蟲	infestation	侵擾；害蟲危害
repel	驅除；使反感	surly	壞脾氣的；乖戾的
retailer	零售商	prone	有...傾向的
emit	發出；散發	vandalize	任意破壞
shriek	尖叫	boisterous	喧鬧的
save the trouble	省省吧	unperturbed	不受干擾的；鎮定的
clear out	離開（某處）	tingly	刺激的；有刺痛感的
vicinity	臨近的區域	composure	冷靜；沉著

延伸閱讀：

BBC：The Sound that Repels Troublemakers.
Include a radio report, where you can actually hear the sound (or not).

NPR：Teens Turn “Repeller” into Adult-Proof Ringtone.
Include a radio report where the inventor is interviewed.

The Manufacturer’s Website：News reports on the Mosquito Teenage Deterrent.