【英語宅急便】Human beings' revenge~ "Let's give that baby shark a good beating!"

From: 臺大視聽教育館教育館英語學習報第034期

Spielberg: Hey buddy. Oh, you are watching that old movie Jaws again. That’s quite a classic.

Spielberg: 嗨，老兄，咦，妳又在看大白鯊啦？這真的是一部經典好片。

Great White: Agreed. Look how mighty the shark is. Too bad the director made it die at the end of the movie. The movie should have ended with the shark surviving and ruling the ocean.

Great White: 同意，你看那鯊魚力氣多大啊，但遺憾的是導演最後竟然讓牠死了，這部電影的結局應該讓鯊魚活下來最後統治整個海洋才對。

Spielberg: Well, the shark was a killer in the first place. It’s a threat to human lives.

Spielberg: 呃，那隻鯊魚殺了很多人，而且牠威脅到那些人的生命好嘛。

Great White: Whatever. You human beings are never very kind to sharks, either. The Chinese even eat shark fins.

Great White: 隨便啦，你們這些人類對鯊魚也不會好到哪去，中國人甚至會吃鯊魚鰭。

Spielberg: At least they respect sharks well enough to set outrageous prices to the fins. (Getting a sinister look from Great White.) Seriously, some people are very kind to sharks. For example, you know there was a shark stranded on a beach near New York during a weekend a while ago.

Spielberg: 其實他們很尊重鯊魚啊，至少魚翅很貴。（被Great White瞪了一眼）實際上還是有很多人對鯊魚不錯的。舉例來說，你應該知道上個禮拜有一隻鯊魚擱淺在靠近紐約的沙灘上吧。

Great White: And people were freaked out and fled. . . . Thanks to the media that slanders against our reputation, no one wants to be friends with us. . . . We sharks are so lonely. . .

Great White: 於是人們四處逃竄...真感謝這些媒體毀謗我們的名譽，沒人想跟我們做朋友...我們這些鯊魚真孤單...

Spielberg: Alright, some people did get spooked when they saw the shark wiggling near the shore, but some unflinching New Yorkers mustered up their courage and pushed it back into the water. Biologists confirmed that it was a move that could have potentially saved its life.

Spielberg: 好吧，很多人看到鯊魚向岸邊靠近的確會被嚇的魂飛魄散，但一些勇敢的紐約客卻集結他們的勇氣把那鯊魚推回海裡。生物學家證實那可能可以救了牠一命。

Great White: That was really kind of them. But you said “could have potentially saved its life”; do you mean that it died eventually?

Great White: 他們人還真好，但你剛剛說“可能可以救了牠一命”；你是說最後牠死了嗎？

Spielberg: Unfortunately, its carcass was washed up on the shore the second day. I am sorry, but it was probably sick in the first place when he came so near to the shore.

Spielberg: 非常不幸地，牠的屍體隔天被沖到岸上，我很遺憾，但可能她一開始接近岸上時就病了。

Great White: Oh, that was tragic! (sobbing) You see, sharks always die at the end of the story.

Great White: 噢，這是何等的悲劇！（啜泣）你看，鯊魚每次在結局都會死掉。

Spielberg: Hey, hey. Don’t cry. I will tell you another story about a lifeguard’s rescue mission.

Spielberg: 欸欸，別哭，我跟你講另一個有關救生員救援任務的故事。

Great White: Er. Lifeguards just evacuate people from the beach when sharks approach. How can a lifeguard story cheer me up?

Great White: 呃，救生員不就是在鯊魚靠近時把人們從沙灘上撤離，這種鳥故事怎麼能安慰我？

Spielberg: Well, hear me out then. It was also on a beach near New York when swimmers saw the shark flopping its tail in the surf. As it turned out, the courageous lifeguard saved – the shark.

Spielberg: 好吧，你聽聽看。那也是一個接近紐約的沙灘，游泳的人看到鯊魚的尾巴在浪花上拍打，最後，勇敢的救生員－－救了那隻鯊魚。

Great White: Oh! That sounds like a good human being, did he also feed the shark human flesh?

Great White: 哦哦！那真是個好人類，牠有餵那隻鯊魚人肉嗎？

Spielberg: Er. Great White, we do not encourage sharks to eat human.

Spielberg: 呃，大白鯊，我們並不鼓勵鯊魚吃人。

Great White: Alright, tell me what happened then.

Great White: 好吧，告訴我接下來怎麼了。

Spielberg: The shark was a 2-feet long sand shark, so it was probably only a baby. When the lifeguard noticed, there were about 75 swimmers surrounding the shark, beating it up. Some of the swimmers held it down, while some were actually hitting it and smacking its face.

Spielberg: 那是一隻兩尺長的錐齒鯊，所以他應該只是個小baby，當救生員注意到時，那邊差不多有75個泳客為著那隻鯊魚，在揍它，還有一些人把它抓起來丟，其他的人就打她，還掀他嘴皮。

Great White: Beasts! That was too much, I am going to bite those people right now.

Great White: 揍他！那太超過了，我現在要去咬爆那些人。

Spielberg: Calm down, calm down. That was really cruel of them, for sure. The swimmers probably panicked. I apologize for all the bad press you sharks got. Those negative images on the media do make people somewhat hysterical about sharks. But at least the tender-hearted life-guard saw the baby shark and rescued it from the mob promptly.

Spielberg: 冷靜點，冷靜點。他們的確很殘忍，那些泳客應該病了。我替那些爛媒體對你說聲抱歉，那些媒體上負面的影像多少讓人對鯊魚有點歇斯底里。但至少那個好心的救生員看到那鯊魚BABY而且讚第一時間把他從報民中拯救出來。

Great White: Yeah, well done. Hey, Spielberg, maybe next time you can make a film about a shark being eaten and all the shark heroes try to hunt down human beings, with sharks triumph in the end, for sure.

Great White: 耶，幹的好。嘿，史匹柏，也許下一是你可以拍一部一隻鯊魚被吃掉，然後其他鯊魚英雄去獵殺人類，我們鯊魚當燃贏得最後的勝利。

Spielberg: Hm. Thank you for the suggestions, but I am afraid it won’t be a summer hit among human audience. Maybe next time.

Spielberg: 嗯，謝謝你的建議，但我怕這在人類觀眾中不會是夏日的強檔片，下次吧。

---

mighty	強而有力的；偉大的	sob	嗚咽；啜泣
fin	魚鰭	lifeguard	救生員
outrageous	無法無天的；可憎的	evacuate	疏散
sinister	陰險的；邪惡的	approach	接近
stranded	擱淺的	flop	拍動
freaked out	嚇壞了的；抓狂	surf	海浪
slander	毀謗名譽	flesh	肉
spook	驚嚇	smack	打；甩巴掌
wiggle	擺動；扭動	panic	驚慌
unflinching	不畏縮的	hysterical	歇斯底里
muster up	鼓起(勇氣等)	mob	暴民
carcass	屍體	promptly	及時地

---

延伸閱讀：

The Daily News: 6-foot shark stranded on Rockaways pushed back to sea

The Daily News: Shark turns up dead day after spotted at Rockaway Beach

The Daily News: Coney Island lifeguard rescues baby shark to cap crazy summer